Let me let you in on a well-known secret: I LOVE list-making. On a typical day at work, you could find me detailing my goals, movies I like, friends I want to stay in contact with, or attributes of a good Spy onto backs of receipts, napkins, or my hands. I've often considered renaming my blog to "My Life in Lists" (though I'm sure the URL is spoken for). The only problem is that while I covet time to construct a good whimsical list, I have my Mother's indecision in naming them. So here begins another long-winded explanation of a post that may more aptly be entitled "Explanation of the Nature of Ashley" or more succinctly, "List #296"; or perhaps or "First-World Problems" would be a better description of the material to follow.
Have you ever seen a little something like this:
Yeah, so this sort of describes my life, every day. Anyways...it got me thinking to some of the first-word problems I face every day, or even just this week. I thought I would describe them as in "Highlights" and "Lowlights".
Highlight: J-Dawgs, McDonnald's shakes, and Wallaby's with friends
Lowlight: The plentiful items I thought we had in the fridge turned out to all be condiments
Highlight: Homemade rolls and a midnight marathon of our new favorite show "Prison Break"
Lowlight: Working at 7:00am
Highlight: Peed in my scalding hot shower
Lowlight: The drain is broken
Highlight: I got to visually measure exactly how much water I use showering each day by how far up it comes around my ankles and calves.
Highlight: Found a three-foot-tall ceramic giraffe at DI for only $5!!!
Lowlight: No idea what to name him, and no nursery to put him in
Highlight: Found pretty much all of my best clothes in the free DI box at Harmony Square
Lowlight: Waiting to wear all of my best clothes until I'm sure the people who donated them have moved out.
Highlight: Extending time between showers to my maximum 4 days! before my hair looks greasy (with the aid of baby powder)
Lowlight: When your spouse thinks you smell like a dude
Highlight: Warm weather allows me to rule over my domain (apartment) in the least amount restrictions (clothes) possible
Lowlight: Getting a knock on the door
Highlight: Brand new computer
Lowlight: Trying to learn a new operating system, or at least how to navigate my files
Other 1st world problems that you can imagine are quite upsetting to me include
- Choking on a hair I found in my Cottage Cheese (who has black hair in this family?)
- Not being able to find my lucky black pen amongst 10 other blue pens I keep in the "pen basket"
- Finally having enough time to start six different home-improvement projects at once
- Having to wait before the next season of Project Runway Allstars or The Next Food Network Star
- Trying to claim my FREE one-month trial version of Netflix but accidentally opening an account
- Posting a facebook status that no one "likes"
- Hearing the annoying beep of our three alarm clocks every ten minutes for an hour only to wake up late for class and wondering how I turned them all off in my sleep
- When Hulu asks if a commercial is applicable to me, not getting to click the "no" button before it ends