It’s been a bit of a cold month… in more ways than one.
Yesterday had a cold…it didn’t rain, but the sky leaked constantly from the time the sun was supposed to be up to when it came down at 4pm. Today, the cold was discrete; instead of the sloshy wet cold, it hid in clear air and slowly became a part of every once-warm inch of my body. It’s that biting cold that penetrates your skin and turns the air to tiny ice crystals that choke you and freeze your blood.
I’m positive that we have this weather to discourage any thought of deferring studies to go outside during Midterm season. Provo, you’ve done your job. I have no intention of going outside ever again. However, instead of focusing on Speech Anatomy, I can’t stop the onslaught of those kind of deep thoughts that come when gray clouds out the warmth in the world.
Mike and I just watched a tragedy called “Coco Before Chanel," a movie that showed me how grateful I am that I don’t live in early 20th century France and that I have the Gospel. This movie portrays Coco Chanel (before her career as a major fashion designer) as an abrasive girl due to her abusive upbringing in an orphanage. The few times she opens herself to opportunities to love, she is mistreated and finally claims she will never marry (she falls for a married man). The movie ends quite suddenly just as she begins her career as a designer and after her lover dies. I wouldn’t recommend this movie… it seemed to drag on and there was too much vulgarity in it, and the tragic ending had me reaching for my Gilmore Girls reruns. I’m so grateful to know that my husband and I love each other completely, and to have complete trust in that love and fidelity in our marriage that seemed nonexistent, or at least widely unpopular, at that time. It’s times like these where I’ve truly seen that pulling together isn’t looking into each other’s eyes, but standing next side by side and looking in the same direction. Life gets hard, but it’s in learning to work through the trials together that we gain strength individually and as a family.
|Dear Mike: PS, I love you.|
We’ve had some tough things financially as of late (sorry! I’ll try to be more upbeat). We found out that our car is utterly broken down; the engine gave out and a couple weeks ago. So we turned this into a bonding opportunity…if any of you would like to strengthen your marriage, I’m teaching a workshop where we throw you in hot water and you must learn to swim, or at least tow a car together. We woke up one frigid 6am to tow the car to the repair shop. Mike laid in the snow to hitch our Escort up to a friends’ PT Cruiser and, as our battery was dead as well, he turned on his hazard lights as we rolled down University Ave. This was the first time I’ve 'driven' a dead car, and while I rode the break ok, the foggy window combined with the flashing lights ahead made it impossible to see Mike’s “stop” and “slow” arm signals from the window of the cruiser. After what seemed to take hours (though I’m sure it was only minutes) we rolled into the parking lot just as the tow rope snapped off! We needed about 100 feet more to get into a parking space so, undaunted, Mike picked up the rope. I’ll never forget the image of him, soaked from lying in the snow, rope over shoulder, hauling me and our blessed little car 100 feet in the dark, illuminated only by the translucent HONK’S DOLLAR STORE sign. He is my Superman.
We are learning to live and love and get by. A part of my tooth fell out as well recently, and though we don’t have dental insurance, I pray something will turn up. We’ve already been blessed so much…the tow rope choosing to snap right when we pulled into a parking lot, not on the road; the money we always seem to have each month, from nowhere; the fact that I pray and find my phone immediately, or don’t end up lost on a snowy road; the times I need just one friend and a couple in our ward come to the rescue. I know that My Heavenly Father watches out for each of us and I know that He truly sends others into our lives at the times we need Him most, and at the times where I feel like I may deserve it the least. I am so grateful for His loving Arms, and it’s just as my Dad says…just take things “one day at a time.”